if you come back .......

hmmm. woke up slightly earlier today.
10 sharp. keke.
early in e morning suddenly received so many msgs. ha lol.
but not his.... ha lol.
limin asked me to go town with her and hl.
but i cant la. too far le. heh.
so later should be going to jp with sther and jiahui.
den meet yiqin to go to school.
den go acsi gangshow.
dun really feel like going.
but my 'beloved' jie got SPECIAL MISSION for me.
hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
so i must have no choice but to go.
sian sian sian.
haven finished hols hw.
but that is for sure de ma.
is only e start of hols. haha lol.
havent seen him for 3days.
i read her blog.
she mentioned something.
i noe i shldnt doubt her anymore.
after all shes my friend.
but e prob is dere is too many loopholes in HIS statements.
not to say both of them.
i dunno. -shrugs-
i hope to noe e truth.
but doesn seem that easy.
ha lol.
anw. hope i enjoy later.
bad flu today. lol.

11.53am
guolovesduncan *|a|a|a

you told me to grab your hand tight.
but i didnt dare to do so.
cos i was afraid.
i was afraid that i wil not bear to let go.

stupid de. went to acsi gangshow den really didnt c him.
cos he pon that gangshow. kaoz. he is really not enthu man.
haiz. bo bian la. is over le. wat can i say? lol.
but anw. was nice la. except that it got boring after e interval.
den shawn tay got do e break dance. damn act dao. keke.
but i believe geraldine loved it. she was apparently enjoying herself.
i mean. she was too engrossed in shawn tay. ha lol.
den e sec1 scout donovan damn extra.
dunno is it wan to snatch e limelight or wat.
attract attention only. lol.
anw jus now went to jp with sther and jiahui.
took neoprints and ate popcorns.
saw limei and melissa.
den we saw suling on e train. ha.
den after that met mel den we went to school.
almost all e ex leaders of last yr's batch came back man.
and btw.i was e only one in kingfisher who went other den meili.
pathetic man!! ha lol.
but anw on our way dere. i was damn scared lo.
scared c him ma. keke.
but too bad la. nv c him. cos he didnt go!!!!
nice one na! he pon lo. in other words. kaixin's words came true.
haiz. win liao lor. disappointed siarh. hahahaha.
den went home with almost everyone lo.
i am going deaf man. jus now weiyan and min kept screaming.
haha lol. half deaf le...... keke.
dunno y. thigh bone damn painful.
hmmm. no one online. i mean. not many la. sian anw.
think i go read book le. amazing. keke.

-i miss you-

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
11.43pm

take me to your heart.
take me to your soul.
give me your hand and hold me.
show me wat love is.
be my guiding star.

hmmm. nice day today. good weather uh? keke.
stil haven finished homework.
feel like calling someone to chat. but lazy. gee.
hmmm. i dun wan to doubt them anymore.
dunno y. dun think i should anyway.
watever it is. haha lol.
hmmm. short entry today ba.
tonight cant use com le.
perhaps update tml.

-i.miss.you-

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
1.45pm

Your the dark in my light
Your the bright in my light
And I'll always know
You got me where you want me

Yeah no more tears, no more goodbyes

Don't you know it's time for me to go
Even though it hurts to see you cry
But don't you know you'll never be alone
If you hold me deep inside (oh yeah)

You know that I would rather stay
But now before I turn away
There's one last thing to you
I want to say

Baby there's no goodbyes
I'll always be right by your side
I may be far away
You know that my heart will stay, with you, always

Now I've pictures in the distance
Even though it seems a million miles
But there'll be no space between us
I'll be there everytime you close your eyes. Yes I will (oh)

You know that I would rather stay
But now before I turn away
There's one last thing to you
I want to say

Baby there's no goodbyes
I'll always be right by your side
I may be far away
You know that my heart will stay, with you, always

I don't wanna say words that people say
Cos when I go away, my love will stay

In the heart of you to help you make it through
Baby that is why there can be no. No goodbyes

Baby there's no goodbyes
I'll always be right by your side
I may be far away
You know that my heart will stay, with you, always

Baby there's no goodbyes
I'll always be right by your side
I may be far away
You know that my heart will stay, with you, always

You know what no more goodbyes

jus eaten dinner. porridge. put alot of pepper. throat burning. heh.
jus now went to yuyuan's house.
actually wanted to discuss project.
but as expected. ended up playing lf2.
yuyuan taught me new skills thou. keke.
den ben and yinghao came to my house to play monopoly.
lord of e rings de. jus as boring thou. lol.
but i bought e most properties. gee.
yinghao kept pointing his middle finger with e ring.
stupid de. really wanted to tell him to f*** off. =x
today they got e math olympiad thing.
obviously i was disappointed. by rite my maths improved alot.
dunno y i didnt get in this yr. last yr did. haiz.
but anw. jus have to work harder. or pple say i boast only. lol.
anw they must have enojoyed today. cos they went jp. lol.
this sat got guides. must bring full u.
hope liyi they all dun come back. heh. but sure wil de la. haiz.
haven cut hair. sure touch crest le ba. scared siarh. lol.
today is weiyan and qx birthday?
sms-d them this morning le. so niceeee of me uh? haha lol.
today is 3rd june. he should be 'available' le. ha lol.
hmmm. watever.
listening to blue's guilty album.
now den realize sooooo many songs darn niceeeeee.
at least it isnt too late to realize it now.
better den pple who realize existence of certain pple.
only when they not around anymore.
bleahx. talking cock again. heh. =p
hope to finish science wb homework by tonight.
but dun think can siarh. gee lol.
must go play ps2 le. or wil be bored to death man. ha.

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
6.18pm

if we were running in a race.
i would nv try to catch up with you.
cos i wan to keep a distance within us.
so that i could look at you from behind.
cos you motivate me to finish e race.
to reach my finishing point. =)

haiz. i cant believe i told her man. i dunno la. haiz.
but anyway so many pple noe le. doesn make a big diff.
she didnt say anything much thou. maybe she expected it.
watever it is. anw many pple expected it. lol.
at least til now. i haven regretted telling her.
thou apparently i noe she hasnt given up on him.
but of cos i'm not trying to spite her or something.
haiz. i really dunno. a tied knot in my heart.
hope it isnt a dead knot.
i can untie it. cant i?
i hope she doesnt get any wrong idea.
i hope she isnt sad or something.
i hope she doesn feel as if she has another competitor.
cos i'm definitely not going to compete with anyone.
cos i dun have any qualities to do so.
never.
haiz. maybe he returned his fone again.
or i wld have msg-ed him.
now i regret telling him something i shldnt have.
i feel like taking back my words.
but i cant. never anymore.

can YOU tell me wat to do?
i'm lost.

-i.miss.you-

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
1.32pm

i hope you aint a image drawn in my mind with a permanent marker.
cos i hope to erase you off with an eraser.
but even if i can do so.
scars of memories may stil be left behind.

headache mann. y must everyone confuse me? my god mann.
i really cant figure out y. y must she tell me diff things.
y must she get so sensitive over my words.
i hv no choice but to regret wat i hv done. i shldn hv told her.
if i hadn seen her blog this morning. i wldn noe.
somehow i jus think is not fair to me.
y cant she tell me e truth in e first place.
if she has done so. i wldn tell her something i shldn hv.
i didn do that purposely to spite her. i really didn.
pple around me told me many things.
"she jus wan to make you feel guilty and give up..."
"she purposely tell you something but doesn think so in fact..."
"she's trying to gain sympathy cant you c that..."
i dunno whether to believe them.
i think i hv chosen not to.
haiz. but i didn wan to give up jus like that anw. for no reason.
last nite i was surprised that he sms me when he was free.
we talked til 12.31:11. first time talked til so late.
maybe supposed to be happy de ba.
but this morning turned out to be like that.
guides wasn nice today. due to this kind of mood.
computer class wasn that fun too.
guides ended early. went mac with min jiemin yiqin qimei wen si.
he was dere. but we could jus walk past as if we dunno each other.
maybe i could hv a choice to say hi. but i didn.
sheena kept telling me he got turn back to look at me.
but i doubt her words. not that i dun believe her ba. i dunno. haiz.
anw. not a very nice day today afterall.
i tot i wont use e sad smiley chris sent me on msn le.
but i was wrong.
today i used it.
and i think i wil hv to use it for dunno how long le.

//miss.you.loads.

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
6.12pm

if you wan to hurt me.
do so when i wont be hurt by you anymore.
but i think that wil be.
either decades or centuries later.
or perhaps.
that day wont come?
-shrugs-

hmmm.dunno.really dunno wat to say.
she said she has given up.she said she has let go.
dunno.-shrugs-.perhaps.maybe.
anw.didn succeed after talking to him yesterday.
he wanted me to understand her before helping her.
maybe he trying to tell me something but didn noe how to express it.
dunno.i jus hope she understands that i dun stand a higher chance.
i dun need a chance.
i nv tot of being with him.
i dun wan to.
so it doesn matter whether she has given up or not.
perhaps out of 100 girls who wld like him.
99 may give up on him.
i may not.
but it doesn mean i stand a higher chance.
cos it doesn mean that he must like e girl who likes him.
i dunno when i wil give up.but i nv ever tot of having a chance.
anw.phew.lucky he wasn angry.
cos i got his sms this morning.
and chris called him last nite.
he even told chris to tell me to call him since he cant sleep anw.
stupid chris forgot.lol.
but anw.lucky me.he not angry with me.thank god. =)))
he told me to call him at 2 30.til now i didn.
i noe i wont. =x lol.thou i said 'ok' after he told me twice.lol.
jus now went to je bookshop buy stuff.
bought prezzies for mel and kin mun le.simple stuff.
got my new pocket file.finally.keke.
went to c cds.didn c hoobastank album.
he promised to lend me after he has finished listening.
wonder if he rmbs.lol.
dunno wat happened to shirleen.
hope shes fine.i dun think she wil tell me anw.
tml wil be e takeover parade.hope he beats s l =x
thou i noe many pple wld be not suang if i say that.
min kept saying s l so shuai and stuff.lol.
hope he gets promoted to csm.told jr and shawny to tell me tml le.
they better rmb.lol.
hmmm.wont call him stil.i think.
-shrugs-

//miss.him.loads.

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
4.37pm

nice quote from my friend.lol.lame thou.lol.

i have [F]igure.

i have [C]haracter.
i maybe [K]aypo to noe bout you?yup.i am.

cos all i need is [U].

second entry for today.
but a short one.
yups.haiz.heard something from someone.
which means he wil have to be sad tml.
actually wanted to go n watch him tml.
but i guess i wldnt go le.
cos i cant afford to c him feel sad.
thou he doesn show it.
i believe i can c that he is.
thou it hasn happened.
my god.i hope he wil be fine tml.
wan to call him to talk to him.
tell him not to be sad no matter wat happens.
but i cant do that.
i guess i dun have e ability.
or maybe he wld jus be suspicious that i noe something.
he was so confident previously.
wat if e fact disappoints him?
i cant imagine wat wil happen.
hope he wil be fine tml.
haiz.

//miss.him.loads.
//wish.him.luck.

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
6.50

pls bear in mind.
no matter wat.
you have me.
behind you.
good luck. =)))

today is monday.impt day for him.
thou i roughly noe bout his posting le.but cant tell him.
hope he doesn get angry if he noes i noe.
cos i really cant tell him.
moreover dun wan him feel sad now.
maybe he himself has e rites to noe his rank from his sgts ba.
later jiahui coming over to my place to do homework.
perhaps i wil send her back to interchange.
den at least i can somehow get some news.
of cos not abt how e parade or postings were.
but how he was feeling.
he really doesn show it when he is in a bad mood.
i may not noe him that well.
but i noe that particular point.
i hope he really doesn feel sad.
i wil be in a loss of words to console him.
haiz.
really cant imagine wat wil happen later.
hope he wil be fine.
i dunno wat else to say.
sgt jj says he wil sure be sad de.
i feel even worse.
haiz.
once again.
hope he wil be fine.

//wish.him.luck.
//miss.him.loads.

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
12.01pm

please take care.
cos you are someone special.
good luck.

hmmm.second entry for today.
jiahui came to my house to do homework.
we were talking cock thou. ha.
den after that go clementi.
waited for like 1h 13min for their dismissal.
heard from kian wee and jun rong that he's part b platoon sgt.
heard that he cried.perhaps he did.
went to mac.saw him go with chris and yh.his face.red.very.
chris said he ok de.i hope is true.
saw him online finally after 20days.
but obviously he's sad.can c that from his nick.
but he said he's ok le.so i dun need call him le.
maybe that wasn necessary all along.
but anw.glad that he's fine le.thank god.
short entry ba.dun wanna talk abt it too much.
dun wanna cause any misunderstand within some pple again.lol.
i'm tired of arguing.or perhaps.i aint arguing in e first place?
maybe like wat junxian said.care abt myself ba.not others.
perhaps.i try.ha.
anw.i dun wan a chance.i dun need one.i dun have to work for it.
thats e last time i'm saying it.
=)
stheng coming back tml.
miss her so much.
and my prezzies.keke.

//miss.him.loads.

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
11.18pm

today woke up at 11plus? long time nv wake up so late le.heh.
cos last nite slept late lor.went to bed at 12.midnight.sharp.lol.
but all i noe was.e last time i looked at my watch.it read 1.24am.
in other words.i hadn slept even til 1plus.
kept tossing in bed.from left to right.right to left.again and again.
dunno y cant get to sleep.somehow jus thinking abt something.
yesterday when he got his post.i only sms-ed him 2words.
'Cheer up.'
were those words enough?
did i seem useless when it comes to consolling him?
yuppies i didn call him last nite.cos he said no need le.
he said he was 'cheered' le.so i left him alone.
but yesterday he was so sad.yet i could only give him 2words.
i somehow think they weren enough.
those 2words didn worth much?
dunno.i think so ba.
was i selfish to make him promise me that he wldn get too sad?
maybe i was.who wldn get sad de?
y didn i spare a tot for his feelings?
who m i to make him promise me?
maybe i m going to leave him alone for a few days.
til ...
i dunno when.
-shrugs-

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
1.44pm

maybe you wont be reading this.
cos i noe you wont.
anw.
sorry.

yesterday he was online.
she was oso online.
i was online oso.obviously.
i spoke up for her.but he sorta 'yelled' at me.
his reply to me was 'wad you wan!'
i almost burst out into tears mann.
first time he treat me like that.
so i nv talked to him le.
and even decided not to talk to him anymore.
den talked to chris on e phone.talked crap la.
cos chris only kept saying e hE not angry.
but shld he be angry in e first place?
shld be me wat.
not very angry thou.heh.bleahx.
den i hung e phone after a while and sat on e sofa.
listening to 'the reason' again and again.
handphone rang.
was him.he called with his house phone.
by right i was supposed to be kinda angry de.
but when i saw his name on my phone screen.
i immediately ...
dunno how to describe that feeling.
hot in e face anw.heh.
quite hesitant to pick up.
but stil picked up.
i noe him for so long.
he only called me twice.
first time was like in march?to explain something.
second time was last nite.obviously.
dunno wat he wanted to say or ask or watever.
i picked up anw.
"hello..erm..you ok or not?"
den i like so dunno wat to say.
so i said 'ya'.
"really uh?"
den i jus kept saying. 'ya' for like 4 or 5 times.heh.
cos he asked "really uh" for 4 to 5 times oso.lol.
den he 'ya' i 'ya' jus kept 'ya'-ing for a few times.
den was like about 15seconds of silence suddenly.
was really silent mann.
cos both of us dunno wat else to say.
so i said 'yup.really nvm.'
den he 'orh'.
thou he didn apologise at all.
i noe he had only good intention den.
so i said 'ok.bye'.
cos dun wan to talk to him anymore before i start stammering.keke.
when i hung e phone.i was stil hot in e face.lol.
den limin called.
"hey! wouldn you wan to thank me?"
so it was limin who told him.lol.
nice one na.
hmmm.anw.not angry le la of cos.gee.
by rite should be at west mall de.
but rain too big le.so dun go le.
anw.must start on hols assignment le.cant slack le.lol.

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
1.50pm

dunno how to describe my feelings rite now.
e way he treats me each day.
erm ...
like e weather today?
so cold.
yuppies.perhaps e weather is always unpredictable.
perhaps he was in a bad mood today?
i dunno.think so.
my heart.is like glass dropping onto e ground.
and like wat chris had described last nite.
"piang piang piang ... "
maybe we are drifting apart.
but i do treasure this friend...
haiz.

short entry today.
i jus feel like typing out wat i feel.
terrible mann.
=(

//haiz.

guolovesduncan [no more *|a|a|a for today.]
7.58pm

wat e f**k mann.whoops?sorry.
posted my entry once jus now.den com hang.
type again.com hang again.now must type again.lol.
but nvm la.i good mood ma.
shant let these minor stuff spoil my mood. *winks*
jus now went to je library with jiahui yingpeng geraldine.
talked cock only.haha.
wanted to go west mall de.but many pple not free go with me.
after that yp and i went off first.
went to e entertainment centre.
bought 2 large popcorn chicken.yummy.
and oso 2 monkey face keychains at watsons.cuteeey.
den we took mrt back to clementi to take bus.
saw yuyuan and lyn.so yp and i took bus home with yuyuan.
yuyuan made me laugh like siao in e bus mann.
almost everyone in e bus looking at me le.keke.
i almost bumped into him when e bus jerked only.
den he pushed me away so hard.
as if i was going to molest him!!! that was sick.hahahahahahaha.
thou it was boring at e library previously.
but i tot abt many stuff.
previously thrashed things out with hock le.
maybe now we not very good frenz le ba.
but at least cleared our misunderstanding.
den tot of myself.
hmmm.*loves myself*
previously i was too dumb.
a self torturer mann.
pple around love me.they care for me.
yet i ignored their good intentions.hahaha.
a crush only wat.normal for girls at this age to have crushes ma.
y must make myself like that?dumb siarh.keke.
but at least not too late to realiz it now.
bet not many pple wil be matured enough to think like me.gee.
but thanks to all e frenz who cared for me.
when i was down in e dumps.keke.
pple like.kaixin.siti.shirleen.jiahui.min.limin.stheng.shuyi.even jx.
esp kaixin!!! i love you jie!!
of cos siti and shirleen as well.speciallllll frenz i can ever have.
not to forget my beloved ernie as well.gee.
his words woke me up mann.
he said affairs of e heart worry me too much.
chim but definitely meaningful.
thou i guess you wont be reading this.
thanks so muchie anw! *muAcKs* love you loads!!!
dun worry.i dun fancy you thou.hahaha.
but anw.gonna be e siao za bor in my class like before.gee.
ok.enough of my crap.must sleep le.
haha.but how can i ever forget something so impt?!?!
MELISSA HENG. love you to bits!!!
thanks to you oso.
my best confidante. =)))
you listened to me for 41min yesterday.
you didn talk much.
but i knew you were listening attentively.
*muAcKs* thanks loads! =)

//loves myself.

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
12.40am

nitey. Zzzzz...

well well well.is yet another boring day.
but i m stil feeling HIGH mann.hahaha.
jun rong kept saying i changed le.hahaha.
glad to hear that thou.hahaha.
bleahx.kept laughing le.my god.keke.lol.
slack so much today mann.
did nothing.except listening to my guilty again and again.
nice one na.
hmmm.but listening to many sad songs oso.
they dun affect my mood any longer. *winks*
yes!! tml got guides.at least can get outta my house le.gee.
den shun bian must go buy some chocs.
craving for it.i mean.dying for it!! hahaha.
erm okie.short entry first.busy now!! =)

//i am sapphire.

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
7.26pm

haiz.palms and kneecaps burning mann.
jus now in school was at pumping position for dunno how long.
so damn hot.i was burning.in fact.everyone.
almost everyone wanted to cry like that.lol.
nice one na.first time i so painful.keke.lol.
but anw lucky liyi not dere today.
or i sure would have fainted le.lol.
before drills we had got lessons.
e test on wat gas electric fire hazards blah blah blah.
failed last time.but think can pass this time.quite confident.gee.
anw.guess everyone's palms and knees stil hurt now.ha.
he went for e dunno wat course le.
means cant sms him for dunno how long le.ha lol.
nvm.time to save smses.keke.lol.
at least got to see him this morning til 8.02am.keke.lol.
feel like puking.haven eaten lunch.lol.
jus came back not long ago.
went to jp with kaixin weeboy and jun rong.
walk here walk dere.saw boon keat.ha.
got e powerpuff girls dere.but didn get to watch!!!
cos so many pple lor.keke.
den we took neoprints.niceeeeey.
thou almost deleted junrong's face with e eraser.heh.
lucky kaixin 'saved' it.keke.
but anw.finally got to take with kaixin.
left with stheng and mel only to take with le.keke.
den we only walked around for a while den went home le.
so darn tired.gonna take a long nap mann.
hunger thou!! really feel like puking mann.
must go take shower le.
den time to sleep.
*yAwNs*
Zzzzz ...

//burning palms.

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
4.11pm

jus now finally vomitted before my shower.
at least felt better.
den slept for like 2hours?yea.
woke up le den felt like puking again.heh.
nv eat lunch some more.so darn hungry.starving like siao.
moreover my mama and papa go malaysia.
but they came back after 8?yea think so.
den jus now ate one adult panadol and one children de.
at first stil feel a bit like puking.
but den mum cooked plain porridge for me for dinner.
i haven eaten lunch thou.heh.
den e porridge was like magic potion.
i finished one bowl den okie le.keke.
nice time chatting with qian and jx and shirleen.hahaha.
dunno wats wrong with me.
first time footdrill wil laugh so much de siarh.
today kept laughing for no reason.
lucky nv kana caught. heh.
anw.jx told me i can sms him later at 11.hahaha.
but i dun think i wil la.lol.
my god.my poor palms.keep perspiring rite now.heh.
hmmm.finally chris gave me a sms.
at least glad to noe that he's fine.ha.
hmmm.shall end my entry here.

//nice one na!

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
10.39pm

hmmm.today ate alot.cos nv eat breakfast.
so ate alot for lunch dinner and supper.gee.now bloated anw.
thu maybe going out.dunno go where.heh.
finally got my slippers.long time nv wear slippers le.
have been wearing my scandals for dunno how many yrs le.heh.
got a torch oso.for guides camp.yeppies.
quite excited and anxious abt it.hope not siann.heh.
was sharing some ghost stories with my sis jus now.
having goosebumps?heh.
my poor limin.sick le.
maybe recently weather very hot.must drink alot of water.
like i drank 5 glasses of iced water today.keke.
jus uploaded my neoprints.
taken with my jie and jr weeboy on sat de.
so niceeeyyy mann.keke. =)
okies.time to sleep le.
my god.today nv do zhou ji again.
another day to slack.tml must do!!!
must force myself to start tml le.heh.
hope can do it thou.heh.
haiz.must hv gained alot of weight again.heh.
time to play more badminton to slim down?
but must find someone good to compete with me.keke.
hmmm.chatting with junrong on msn.
he finally got 'haha' le.means he happy le ba.haha.
lalala...
he coming back from e course at 17.
means maybe can ask him go out with me and min they all?
keke.my god.i must be dreaming.
okies.better den drooling?
bleahx.i'm going cranky.gee.
okies okies.time to sleep.
Zzzzzz.

//jealously?

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
11.39pm

you wil only get jealous over something that you fancy?
dun you? lol.

yet another boring day.
haven eaten dinner.not intending to eat.
sudden mood swings.maybe under e influence of my honey.lol.
tml should be going out with min they all.
should be eager de.but den dunno y la.a bit e sian sian.lol.
he suddenly asked me if i going is it.i tot he wanted to go.
so i asked if he wanted to go.but he dun wan.lol.
i wonder who told him in e first place thou.
den now he tot i dun wan him to noe.wad e.
yesterday actually put 'e reason' here.but deleted.
actually decided to put it again today.
but heard it at limin's blog.got a shock mann.lol.
but since she put le.i dun wan put le ba.
anw i put for e sake of putting it only.lol.
it only reminds me of him whenever that song is played.lol.
he's a bit ill.but should be okie lor.
i really cant stand some pple's attitude mann.
sarcastic.sadistic.hypocritical.i wil burst soon mann.
so darn not suang.but i shall endure.
endure for e sake of enduring.
bleahx.crapping.
shall blog tml.when i'm back at home.
gastric pain le.wad e.
later got e hai you ming tian 2 on channel 8.
yeppies.i dun watch for e sake of watching it thou.
but den got sharon au.keke.yeppies. =)
Zzzzz.

//i study for e sake of studying? -yiwen

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
8.29pm

jus suddenly tot of this sms again.thou it has been deleted long ago.but it has always stayed in my mind.e first msg he ever sent me. not that he.another him.bleahx.so niceeeyy.to other pple.it may jus be a very simple msg.short and lame.watever.but it was certainly e most special msg i have ever got.lol.loved it so much that i kept it for five months mann.lol.imagine a girl received this from a guy???my god.e feeling is cool i should say.lol.deleted it bcos e game was over.cannot salvage anymore.but i rmb sending it to siti before deleting it.was afraid i would regret.but i noe i wouldn regret.ha lol.but rmb-ed that msg so clearly.lol.

YoU MuZ Be TiRed
CoZ YoU hV RuN ThRu My MiNd.
You MuZ hV BeeN a ThieF
CoZ YoU hV sToLeN My HearT.
& i MuZ hV BeeN a bAd HunTeR
CoZ i KeeP MissiNg YoU.

okie.back home for quite long le.
niceeey day i had today.proves that i can 'survive' w/o him.lol.
11 met min weeboy jun rong and chris at je control station.
i was late! so paiseh.heh.but i reached at 10.58 ma.is they early lor.gee.so not entirely my fault uh?keke.
so we walked to science centre lor.lame place to go thou.lol.
den we went in den saw that e 'adults' admission fee is 6bucks.
we got a shock.cos chris told us 3bucks only.
but den.hahaha.cos we tot we were ADULTS lor! hahaha.
so in e end we each gave him 6bucks to buy e tickets.
den when he asked.was 3bucks lor.keke.
only rmb-ed we walked here walked dere so many times.
stimulator ride not operating.wat a disappointment mann.lol.
den min and me played hide and seek with those guys.hahaha.
den after like one hour we go makan at mac.
dunno wats up with that chris la.hungry but dun wan eat.lol.
den i got a yellow balloon.keke.
i rubbed it against jr's head to make his hair stand.
weeboy put gel on his hair.so no effect.
den i jus stood up.wanted to do e same to chris.he immediately covered his whole head with his hands.hahaha.
den we bluff weeboy sther wld be dere oso.haha nice one na!
stupid weeboy splashed water at my pants.arg!! LoL!
cos i splashed at him oso ma.keke.lol.
den we went back to walk around again.
oh ya.saw alot of ctss juniors.i saw yen sze and alethia.
chris argued with a child.hahaha.that usual him.keke.
den after that we went to jp.saw tingyou and e jacelyn from 3e1.
den we took neoprints.so fun.cos very funny.keke.but shan elaborate on it.cos not so good to voice it out lor.bleahx.
den we finished taking le yoke hwee came to join us.
we went to sther house to play badminton.
we got so many chocolates from sther!!! nice one na!!
maskbar.kit kat.milky bar cookie and cream.so many!!!
bubble gums oso!! so many packets.keke.
den yh said her house like minimart.
we were busy 'shopping' mann.keke.
den bcos we ate too much choc den so despo for water.
but den sther only passed us one can of coke.
in e end i shared with jr and chris.
stupid one!!! i drank only one sip and they finished it!!!
but den i have got another can when min went into sther's house to get from e fridge.keke.nice one na!!
den we played badminton for a while.
went home after that.
so fun today.must thank them kkz!! =))))
i love e neoprints.
and ya.owe chris $13.50.lol.
shall pay by installments.keke.
niteyyy. Zzzzz...

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
9.30pm

oh cool.long time nv use com til so late le.keke.
from 11plus til now was talking to chris abt something.i had a good laugh mann.hahaha.
today went for com class.met yy to go to school.
den when we reached bus stop.saw meili christine lien and jocelyn.
they kept teasing us.except jocelyn.
meili and christine darn funny mann.
i gave yy his belated prezzie.he so happy mann.haha lol.
den went into e lab sther gave me choc again.keke.
den i share one bar with weeboy.
gonna end up with a sore throat soon mann.haha.
today junrong joined us.dunno is it purposely or wat.hahaha.
den during e lesson we crap so much.esp on msn.
that shawny uh.funny siarh.kana caught by mr CHOU so many times mann.he must be sian diao.hahaha.
den after that went home with yingpeng and yy.
tml must start packing stuff for camp le.
haven even touched my bag siarh.keke.
stil thinking abt yesterday mann.so darn fun.
stupid him.actually said dun wan share mel's prezzie le.
den this morning say wan again.
really bTh him already mann!! =x
dunno who to share with for yh prezzie le.
dun wan share with chris.
cos he sharing with e him.haizzz.lol.
c first ba.broke le mann.stil owe chris money!! lol!
but lesser now.only 12bucks.keke.
hmmm.shorter entry for today.
it's late!! must sleep le!!
niteyyy. =)
Zzzzz.

guolovesduncan *|a|a|a
1.29am

cant go malaysia today le.
papa say maybe wil have traffic jam.shrugs.
jus now went to cut my hair.finally.not so hot le.heh.
later must go pack stuff for camp le.sian.heh.
hope gonna be interesting.
but den after e camp den next few days stil must do project.
maybe go sther house do.
den must go limin house do e chinese thing.perhaps.
den monday school reopen.so fast mann.
i haven finished my 4 zhou ji!!! keke.
cant sleep til late late le.gee.
okie.short entry for now.
wan go play games first.gee.
*|A|A|A

siGning off as
mRs dmJ. *grinz*
1.45pm

wad e.so pek cek mann.something annoying and amusing.
i lost my pe shorts!!!! stupid la.need them for camp on mon and tue!!
better find them by today.haiz.
jus now last min went to malaysia for dinner.
dunno wat that place called.
near e sea anw.nice one na.niceyyyy food.keke.
den so fun anw.wind kept blowing.
den saw swallows.but no bird nest.hahaha.
but den is near swamps.so got many mudskippers.
kkz.short entry.i wan my shorts!!!! =x

siGning off as
mrs dmJ *grinz*
9.43pm

finally.my camp stuff almost all ready le.
only left with detergent and sponge.heh.
busy siarh.stil got homework haven finish.
wed should be tired.so must stay at home.
thu maybe must go sther house do project.
den mic jus now sms me ask me wan go out.
i dun wan to reject her.but dunno free or not.
afterall i haven seen my bestest fren for soooo long le.
i miss her mann.but bo bian.packed schedule.
but den since tml and tue got camp.
dun think so much abt other stuff first.gee.
hope can enjoy.haha lol.
hope dun see him.lol.
at this period of time.if i c him.i think i wil kill him mann.
humph.
go play games le.
update on wed ba.

siGning off as
mrs dmJ *grinz*
3.15pm

back from camp!!!! so fun mann. *grinz*
yesterday morning met same pple at 7am.
same pple means jh min sther n sheena lor.gee.
den we ate very light breakfast.den went to school.
den fall in la den got classified into groups.
i was in group 3!!!! yay!! got qian tu one kkz!!!
group members were sther yingqi samantha xiu fang and azira.dun really noe e rite spelling.keke.
facilitator was jaslyn!!! she so niceeeeyyyy mann. =)
first thing of cos was ice breakers lor.
i so crazy abt that.dunno y.keke.so darn fun anw.we merged with mel's group.yeppies.nice one na!
den in e end everyone played games lor.
ex seniors came back.heard that they were so happy for e whole day when we greeted them.hahahaha.
wad e.saw him.hope he didn c me thou.
lunch was not so niceeeyyy le.nasi lemak.but better den last yr's ug camp de nasi lemak.smelt of insect repellent.heh.
after that we got e firelighting stuff.weather was so hot.heh.
den pon 3hrs of e camp cos got com class.
after that went back.got footdrill.den dinner!!!!
so zun man.i was telling sther in e com lab that i hope we wld have chicken rice for dinner.den really was siarh!!gee.
den we were doing e food cheer.after that seniors satisfied le den allowed us to start eating le.
i 'yay!!!' so loudly til everyone laughed.so paiseh.keke.
den we got candles den sang at e quadrangle.
after that seniors told us ghost stories!!! nice one na! gee.
den so many pple cried mann.haha.i v scared oso lor.gee.
after that we went to classroom to watch e dunno wat horror movie.was really so gross lor.my god.haha.
den got nite walk!!!!! my partner was jiahui.sooooooo shiok mann!!was so ci ji.i v nervous thou.but really loved it.den jiahui grabbed my arm so tight.really shiok.nicolle got frightened by ms koo and baoyue some more.til she cried.haha.
after that finally can bathe le.iyo my god.i bathe so long den in e end like caused so many pple to be late.heh.
after supper finally can sleep le.
tent mates were jiahui jiemin huixin and grace.
but den me jiahui and jiemin cant sleep lor.so humid!!!
so we talked and talked den kana caught and lectured by ms koo siarh.sway mann.keke.
den at 2 something i oso haven slept den suddenly headache.was a bad one mann.so tried to get to sleep.
jus dozed off only.den got fire drill!
jocelyn came to wake us.i was so dazed that she called repeated times.she so cham.must call everyone.really so cham lor.
den we fall in at e flagpole.
i was stil in a daze.cos head really v pain.
den realiz grace was missing.
but actually was baoyue liyi and hongying held her back de.
they wanted to test us.
den when they dismissed us back to sleep.jiahui jiemin and me didn sleep lor.we were sitting down dere doing soul searching.
maybe we really tot of ourselves too much lor.
den my head more pain lor.cos weather was really hot mann.
they slept le den i stared outside e tent and dunno wat i thinking lor.til 4 30 plus den doze off.
actually was quite terrible to sleep in e tent lor.cos e ground v uneven.den e head and back so pain.
so jiahui and i used my bag as pillow.
den 5 43 jinyan woke us up.
thanks to her mann.or else we sure have to be pumped le ba.heh.
den after e brushing up we fall in.
after e 2 rounds around e quadrangle led by baoyue.we walked to west coast park.so shiok mann.a chance for me to slim down.gee.
my partner was mel.den we kept talking.so e journey seemed so short but niceeeyyy.gee.
den we ate at mac.
after that got e obstacle course.first time reached e top of e pyramid mann.oh my god.so got sense of achievement.keke.
den got 1 hour break.we were quite amazed abt that ba.haha.
after that was outdoor cooking.but by that time we were so bloated le.cant eat a thing.but bo bian lor.cooked and ate as instructed.heh.
den after that took bus home.
unpitched e tent and stuff.
but den on e way dere we dun have 'sense of urgency'.so got pumped 20.dunno is it i gong diao or wat.go and dress w/o permission.in e end kana with e squad another 5.sorry mann. =x
den seniors talked to us and we fall out le.
jaslyn so good.gave us sweets.gee. =)
other seniors oso got give.
den me mel michelle jiahui sheena min sini sther and yingqi went to mac for a while.we so busy talking mann.gee.
i saw her.lol.dun think she saw me anw.lol.
den went home with yy.cos he band end le.
finally took my shower le.so comfortable.gee.
e camp was really so niceeeeeyyyyyy!!!
i love it mann.so darn suang lor.
except e sleeping part la.
but overall was really great.
e seniors oso very good.not strict lor.very patient with us.
anw.i so lost for words la.really enjoyed!!!
*winks* =)

guo *|a|a|a
7.42pm

weather very hot.must drink lotsa water.heh.
stil in e camp mood mann.keke.
today spent most time with mel.
of cos la.she my bestest best friend in guides kkz!! lol.gee.
den uh.we talked so much crap today.haha.
but i enjoyed in our conver mann.hahaha.
my god.michelle talking to him.lol.
anw.tonight must have a nice sleep le.
den tml must finish homework le.
thou a bit e behind time.obviously lor.keke.
sleep early.
niteyyy.
Zzzzz.

guo *|a|a|a
9.38pm

sian sian sian.
stil haven done my chinese homework.
oh ya.art oso.siannnnn mann.
haiz.siti uh.haven replied me.
tml maybe must go sther house do proj le.
cant go out with mic le.
cos tml stil must go buy prezzies.
haiz.sian mann.lol.
he nv replied my msgs.
dunno is not anymore.
or is it jus temporary.
shrugs.
haiz.i'm tired of finding excuses to sms him.
really tired.
other den that.i dunno wat to do.
i aint as brave as michelle.lol.
maybe i really regretted wat i have and haven done earlier ba.
shrugs.

guo *|a|a|a
3.46pm

wil a person really fall sick or something if he/she bottles everything ne?got such thing?
if yes.
den i really dun feel like bottling up le.
i'm so tired mann.
feel so uneasy when i dun c him.
bleahx.

guo *|a|a|a
10.56pm

i dun like him le.
=)

guo *|a|a|a
12.55pm

my god.cant stop laughing.dunno y.hahaha.i am jus so jumpy rite now and i really wan to laugh mann.hahaha.
well.came back from sther hse not long ago.
went dere with min to do cme proj.
sther so niceeeeyyy to me can!!?!?!?!
buy pizza for me as she has promised.
i ate 4 pieces.keke.so niceeeeyyyyy mann.yummy. =p

thanks thanks sther.dun so gan dong thou.hahahaha.

and min uh.hmmm.thanks la.thanks for letting me noe e truth la okie?is not you tell me de wat.so you didn let anyone down.ahem.you noe wat i saying.lol. *|a|a|a hahaha.is i heard de.not your fault.haha.
but anw is his loss la okie.dunno how to realize my inner beauty.my god.dumb uh.hahaha.okie la.enough of my bhb-ness.keke.

oh ya.sther uh.thanks for your maskbar and 2 cans of coca cola oso.i am so bloated and i blif i can really get fat mann.hahaha.

and erm siti uh.aka my honey.thanks mann.thou i cant make you my les partner.but be rest assured.i wont cry.never.at least wont be for.you noe.e thing that happened.haha.nvm if you dun understand.hahaha.i am so cheerful rite now anw.i m not lying.haha.

shirleen uh.thanks soooooooo much mann.haha.thou i noe you rather hope this thing nv happened la.but too bad.it happened.and i guess i expected it lor.doesn matter de la.i dun even care so much.so you lac lor.rather den i should.hahaha.

jx!!!! hahaha.how dare you insult my drawing mann?!?!?! hahahahahahaha.sorry la.i noe e pig i drew not handsome la.and some more very e no standard.but den i only drew e outline lor.e 'deco' was done by hm.hahahaha!! learn to appreciate it yea? hahaha.lac mann.be rest assured there wil be no more pranks.keke.

jiahui uh.thou you only sorta noe wat happened.but dun have to worry abt me mann.i am so e not unhappy.hahaha.c my entry den noe le rite?keke.

jie!!! you noe who you are la.haha.thanks la.maybe he's not worth it lor.who cares.hahaha.i dun give a damn le la.hahaha.take care hor!shall c you after e hols uh!! =)

heyy mel.dun worry.you have me no matter wat.i wil be your stepping stone de.hahaha.i put you last doesn mean i rmb you last yea?you are definitely jus as impt okie?haha.of cos la.you are my best fren in guides ma.i blif our friendship has got good foundation.i wont spoil it.dun you worry.haha.so.take care yea?dun miss me too much hor!! *winks*

hmmm.today too 'laughy' le.cant stop laughing.jx said i can get oscars le.my god.thank you thank you.so proud of myself mann.hahaha.okie okie.must go do homework le.hahaha.

guo *|a|a|a
7.05pm

so late.
and i'm so tired.
heavy eyelids.
today is a happy day for me k.
cos so many pple care for me k.
and cos i seem to noe something inside me k.
haha.dunno wat i talking.
maybe only me myself understands.
but i noe that i noe myself.
haha.
niteeyyyy.

guo *|a|a|a
12.06am

Janet Jackson
Doesn't Really Matter


Hmm, he-he
Oh, hey
Doesn't matter (It doesn't matter)
Doesn't matter at all

Doesn't matter what your friends are telling you
Doesn't matter what my family's saying too
It just matters that I'm in love with you
It only matters that you love me too

It doesn't matter if they won't accept you
I'm accepting of you and the things you do
Just as long as it's you
Nobody but you, baby, baby

My love for you, unconditional love too
Gotta get up, get up
Get up, get up, get up and show you that it¡­

Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
Cause I'm in love with the inner being
And it doesn't really matter what they believe
What matters to me is you're in love with me

Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
Cause I'm in love with the inner being
And it doesn't really matter what they believe
What matters to me is you're nutty-nutty-nutty for me

(You're so kind)
Just what I asked for, you're so loving and kind
(And you're mine)
And I can't believe you're mine

Doesn't matter if you're feeling insecure
Doesn't matter if you're feeling so unsure
Cause I'll take away the doubt within your heart
And show that my love will never hurt or harm

Doesn't matter what the pain we go through
Doesn't matter if the money's gone too
Just as long as I'm with you
Nobody but you, baby, baby

You're love for me, unconditional I see
Gotta get up, get up
Get up, get up, get up and show you that it¡­

Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
Cause I'm in love with the inner being
And it doesn't really matter what they believe
What matters to me is you're in love with me

Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
Cause I'm in love with the inner being
And it doesn't really matter what they believe
What matters to me is you're nutty-nutty-nutty for me

(You're so kind)
Just what I asked for, you're so loving and kind
(And you're mine)
And I can't believe you're mine

Doesn't matter what they say
Cause you know I'm gonna love you anyway
Doesn't matter what they do
Cause my love will always be with you

My love for you unconditional love too
Gotta get up, get up
Get up, get up, get up and show you that
My love is true, and it's just for you, uh

Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
Cause I'm in love with the inner being
And it doesn't really matter what they believe
What matters to me is you're in love with me

Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
Cause I'm in love with the inner being
And it doesn't really matter what they believe
What matters to me is you're nutty-nutty-nutty for me

Nutty-nutty-nutty my love for you
I can't believe my dreams come true
I've finally found somebody whose heart is true
And best of all you love me to
And nutty-nutty-nutty my love for you
I can't believe my dreams come true
I've finally found somebody whose heart is true
And best of all you're nutty-nutty-nutty for me

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Nutty-nutty-nutty my love for you
I can't believe my dreams come true
(He-he)
I've finally found somebody whose heart is true
And best of all you're nutty-nutty-nutty for me
Nutty-nutty-nutty my love for you
(I'm always doing that!)
I can't believe my dreams come true
I've finally found somebody whose heart is true
And best of all you're nutty-nutty-nutty for me


my god.this song so long nv listen le.heh.but den is so darn fast.til now stil cant master it.i think learn 1 year oso cant catch up with e tune mann.heh.lol.

guo *|a|a|a
1.33pm

this morning met e usual pple for breakfast.
but den today got 'new member'.mel lor.keke.
today got uniform drill.plus boots.
shiok mann.today we first time try out 'new things'
okie.shant elaborate so much.e guides noe.hahaha.
footdrill was like 2hours plus ba.but no pumpings.gee.
lessons was only for a while.
den ms koo talked to us den we got dismissed le.
den go makan with same pple at mac.
qimei gave us 'lessons' afer that.haha.
den we went home le.
my god.jus heard abt e new system in school.
gonna be a torture mann.
haven finished homework.
better go do now.keke.

guo *|a|a|a
5.52pm

dunno y.
beginning to lose trust in pple around me.
dunno y.
beginning to feel so insecure.
dunno y.
beginning to feel that not everyone can be trusted.
really dunno y.



jus woke up from a nightmare.




sense of loss inside me.




i rmb his words.
i wil rmb his words.
i wil mark his words.
such disappointing words.

stupid.


guo *|a|a|a
3.19pm