if you come back .......

well.
is this e rainy season?
rains non stop neh.
lol.

hmmm.
jz came back from sch.
went to sch to do homework with mel.
so hardworking rite.
lol.
was late again.
but this time was bcos e bus was late.
so sorry mel!
heh.

e sch was darn crowded.
sec4s having their chinese o's.
4 hr break aft paper1 siarh.
tt's long mann.
was doing math with mel at umbrella area.
came across this qn which we cldnt solve.
so gt yh to help us.
but he oso kinda bo chup la.
den asked shuyi to help.
she like gonna go mad le.
seemed very stressed neh.
hahaha.
den she solved.
but stil asked chris.
funny mann.
fancy getting so many pple to help jz bcos of a math qn tts only worth 2marks?
hahaha.

heavy rain aft tt.
wanted to go my hse do work de.
but eventually didnt.
stayed at umbrella area.
much quieter le.
cos sec4s went for their paper.
*peace* mann.
gee.

den did chinese.
alot of chinese work.
tts so toopid.
beginning to hate chinese.
lol. =x

den went to mac.
and we ate burger.
e rain gt heavy again.
but gt smaller aft we finished eating.

hmmm.
jz realised tt i have lost e fren who has always given me a sense of security.
guess this feeling cn nv be retrieved le.
i think i noe you are aware tt i am referring to you.
but anw.
i really treasured our frenship.

well.
saw him in sch jz nw.
didnt go to sch for nth.
lol.

i guess i stil like e reason as much.
hai.

well.
dunno wat i'm trying to mean up dere.
jz feel tt all my regrets are unnecessary.
zuo ren yao zhi zu chang le.
true enough.
we must be contented with wat we have.
shldnt be greedy huh?
lol.
tho i am sure things wont go back like how they were in e past le.
i am happy enough jz to c e familiar figure every nw and den.

i really wonder if you find those words familiar.
- step out in faith -
tt was wat you told me.
i didnt forget.
but i guess you did.

i wanted to say out sth tt i have had in mind for so long.
but when i browse thru her blog.
i guess i btr dun.
i didnt noe wat i wanted to say was exactly same as hers.
oh god.
y is tt so?
lol.

met mel and chubby cheong early this morning.
had prata at kopitiam.
den met nini.
and headed off to sch.

we were down dere chatting away den mr murali walked towards us.
phew.
tot he wanted to scold us for going to sch so early.
cos sec4s having o's ma.
lol.
but he only wanted us to help him with sth.
lol.
den ms shelley lau down dere yell yell yell.
we so scared til we left e sch lor.
lol.
eventually returned.
they went for guides while i did my own work alone at umbrella area.

it was enough.
by allowing me to c tt familiar backview jz once.
thou i really wanted to c e 'bespectacled' version.
lol !!!

went to look at track pants with them aft they were dismissed.
den mel and i went to meet yh at mac.
e familiar soul was ard.
tts y i said i am really contented le.
lol.

dunno wat i'm thinking again.
jz feel like crying.

jz as i expected.
wat i intended to do was done.
nt by me tho.
but by someone who was fit to do so.

980 of them.
i see e waste paper basket at my desk.
down they go.
all of them.
*gone*

who am i?
am i qualified to do wat i have done?
no.
aint fit to do anything.

i jz make pple think tt i am gaining sympathy.
isnt tt so?
siti said life is cruel.
true enough.
it is.
or maybe i jz chose to live my life e hard way.

tears wont be rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably anymore.
i am nt a 'running tap'.
i wil learn to hold back my tears.
shld tt be 'strong' or rather 'stubborn'.
i dun care.
tt's me.
isnt tt so?

It's funny how it starts, just how it all begins.
You get your sights on dreams,and man a thousand different things.
You are on for yourself,you're chasing cool desire.
You get addicted fast, but man you're playin' with fire.

Then there's a day that comes to you.
When you get all you want, but there's a space inside that's just as empty as it was.
'Till an angel comes your way and man she's fallin fast.
You know she's so in need but she is too afraid to ask.

So you hold on out your hands and catch her best you can.
And in givin' love you feel a better man.

And the gift is what you get by givin' more than you receive.
And you're learnin' fast that maybe this is how you'll be happy.
'Cause in takin' everything you lost, the air you need to breath.
But in givin' it away, you found the precious thing you seek.

Man, it's funny how she smiles, how grateful she is now.
And how that touches me deep in my heart somehow.
Yet the mirror laughs at me when I forget myself.
When I complain about, this hand that I got dealt.

And if I had known before, how much she would change my life.
I'd sure go back in time and tell that guy ...hey, man.
You can do better than this, you can answer your prayers.
You can grant your own wish.

Just hold on out your hands and give the most you can.
And I swear to you you'll feel a better man.

And the gift is what you get by givin' more than you receive.
And you're learnin' fast that maybe this is how you'll be happy.
'Cause in takin' everything you lost, the air you need to breath.
But in givin' it away, you found the precious thing you seek.

And it's better by far to do what you do now.
And leave the rest to love.
Just be strong in who you are.
Once you start on that road.
You're safe in the knowledge.
That anyway you go.
Will lead you home.

And the gift is what you get by givin' more than you receive.
And you're learnin' fast that maybe this is how you'll be happy.
'Cause in takin' everything you lost, the air you need to breath.
But in givin' it away, you found the precious thing you seek.

So precious precious precious...

And the gift is what you get by givin' more than you receive.
And you're learnin' fast that maybe this is how you'll be happy.
'Cause in takin' everything you lost, the air you need to breath.
But in givin' it away, you found the precious thing you seek.

'The Gift' is by blue.
think my husband sang e most. =x
lol.
cos i heard his voice lotsa times.
shrugs.

anw.
at least it makes me feel btr nw.
perhaps bcos before tt i so toopid.
listened to 'w/o you' and 'e reason'.
i stil like e reason.
but it doesnt have anyimpact on me anymore.
=)

tml wil be e day.
perhaps it's a wish come true.
or rather.
wishes come true.
shrugs.
*prays hard*
but maybe.
high expectations bring about great disappointment.
trying nt to pin too high hopes nw.

love these pics loads.
taken on e last few days of sch.

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok

Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

Without you
Since you've been gone
I haven't been the same
I wish that I could see
Who's to blame

no matter how hard i try.
no matter how hard i search.
i jz cldnt find it.
i jz cldnt retrieve it.

e person in e pic did say wil send me e pic.
but tt person's nt even online.
wats more.
tt person's isnt even sure if e pic exists.
wat if it doesnt?
e pic means a lot to me.
true tt i did print it.
but.
i really wanna keep it in my com.
cnt afford to lose it.

but stil.
i await tml.
hoping is a wish come true.



everytime i look at it.
it fills up every corner of my heart.

*sobs*
cn only cry nw.
cos i retrieved e pic le!!!!!!!!!
really almost cnt control my tears le.
*sniffs*

thanks jiahui!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cnt thank you enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mayb is true tt everytime when i really feel so lost.
you are e one who cld help me.
and give me a sense of security.
thanks for much for tt.
=))))))))))))

gonna treasure it.
nt gonna lose it again.

i dunno if everyone makes a wish everyday.
but i do.
i wil be thinking "i hope ...." "i wish ...." each day.
jz tt maybe sometimes i dun realise it.

for tml.
i have had two wishes.

true enough.
high expectations bring abt great disappointment.

one of them wil nt come true le.

as for e oth one.
it wil only be made known tml.
*prays hard*

chris cnt make it again.
maybe i shldnt say he broke his promise.
anw dere wasnt any guarantee.
i almost cldnt hold back my tears again.
oh no.
lol.
but i managed to keep them back and nt to waste any drop of them.
lol.
tts crap tho.

maybe no one wans to go out with me?
haha.
must be ba.

time really flies.
4days ago i was worrying this and tt.
today.
e result wil be out.

instead of making wild guesses rite nw.
my mind seems to be empty.
i dun even dare to think of anything.

yesterday.
disappointments came one aft e oth.
so i really dun wanna think so much le.

hope to tell mel and stheng gd news ltr.
if dun hear anything frm me.
den perhaps is obvious le.

*crosses fingers*
*prays hard*
*god bless*

too bad.
cnt bring any gd news.

sorry mel.
i didnt wan to listen to any phone calls.
pardon me.
maybe i aint fated to be in e same class as you.
but dun worry.
i wont go jump down building de.
i wil at e most eat non stop.

dun understand y.
cnt he jz wish me gd luck?
it's only two words rite?

one wish didnt come true.
neither did e oth one.
perhaps unlike wat stheng said.
dreams arent e opp of reality.
they cn be true.
and nw.
is obviously.
a nightmare coming true.

perhaps.
thinking on e positive side.
it's a blessing to be in e same class as my honey.
and pple like amirah lyn wee and lotsa more.
wats more i stil gt to study hcl with mel and e old 2c1-ers.

"i'm sorry to tell you tt you dun meet e criteria.so we cnt approve your appeal."
tt was wat she said.
true enough.
i am lousy.

thinking e oth way round.
is gd tt i cld be in e same cls as siti.
some more if i work very hard.
i may top e class nx yr.
=x
lol.

thanks mel.
we are gonna eat tako balls as usual nx yr.
arent we?
=)

oh god.
i am starving like mad.
haven had my lunch today.

anw.
went to jp with siti today.
settled 3 bday prezzies.
very simple.
but sweet.
or rather.
funny?
haha.
took neoprints!!!
so niceyyy.
forgot to add in 'honey' tho.
haha.
but looks like we have recognised our sec3 class le.
we wrote 1c1o3 2c1o4 and 3b1o5!!!
haha.
tt one was really nice.
haha.
was in e toilet using e phone jz nw.
siti was standing behind me.
den this woman came.
she asked.
"is this a queue?"
wahahahahahahahaha.
siti and i really wanna laugh out loud.
but we tahan our laughter.
hahahahaha.
den we went separate ways le.
she went to sch with her bf to buy bks.
i went bugis.
tired siarh.

hmmm.
dinner is ready!
gotta makan le!!!
- chiongs -