if you come back .......

yea. my mum is right. a petty person has no friends. how true.

the pain is killing me. i feel like i'm dying.

i don't know what's going on.

best buds.

rahil.
mel.
jiahui.
hui min.
sther.
stheng.
tsu hui.
shirl.
kexian.
michelle.
yujia.

good buds.

mel.

she is someone i gained after losing.

 

what's gonna happen next?

hi. i'm back.
deleted my old blog.
or rather. supposedly the new one.
this is the old one.
and i'm back here using it.
back from guides camp.
very ill. lips badly scalded.
muscles aching everywhere.
pain pain.

frankly speaking, the camp was indeed well-planned.
thanks to jiahui.
she really put in alot of effort.
well but. i didn't enjoy.
not because of the schedule.
well i don't know.

hui min said something that really hurt me.

well well.
i really hate myself.

now,
even a heading,
i gotta think hard of what to put.
perhaps my meaning of life ends here.
well.
guess is still safer to blog here,
rather than there.

i really feel very miserable.
but i have to keep it to myself.
i told myself i have to be patient.
cos' i still believe in,
"patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet."
that's written on the bookmark that mrs kee gave me when i was in p5?
ya.
neither did i try to reply the tags there.
well,
what can i say anyway?
it will only show that i am insincere to apologise,
isn't it?
i really thank the people who are speaking up for me.
but i guess it's really my fault.
no one should pity me ba.
yes.
everyone needs friends.
but this time,
i guess it's really my fault.
i dont know whats the matter with jr though.
i dont know why he's out to pick on me or something.
but i'm quite sure i didnt offend him.
as for jh.
i know it's my fault.
maybe she thinks whats done cannot be undone.
and an apology isn't everything.
but she didnt know,
how much i wanted to tell her that,
i dont know what to do besides apologising since she refuses to tell me anything.

anyway,
hopefully like what shirl and shirley and yoke hwee said,
time will heal everything.
though i know things won't go back to how they were before.

this,
left a scar on my heart.

oh god.
i am starving like mad.
haven had my lunch today.

anw.
went to jp with siti today.
settled 3 bday prezzies.
very simple.
but sweet.
or rather.
funny?
haha.
took neoprints!!!
so niceyyy.
forgot to add in 'honey' tho.
haha.
but looks like we have recognised our sec3 class le.
we wrote 1c1o3 2c1o4 and 3b1o5!!!
haha.
tt one was really nice.
haha.
was in e toilet using e phone jz nw.
siti was standing behind me.
den this woman came.
she asked.
"is this a queue?"
wahahahahahahahaha.
siti and i really wanna laugh out loud.
but we tahan our laughter.
hahahahaha.
den we went separate ways le.
she went to sch with her bf to buy bks.
i went bugis.
tired siarh.

hmmm.
dinner is ready!
gotta makan le!!!
- chiongs -

thinking e oth way round.
is gd tt i cld be in e same cls as siti.
some more if i work very hard.
i may top e class nx yr.
=x
lol.

thanks mel.
we are gonna eat tako balls as usual nx yr.
arent we?
=)

too bad.
cnt bring any gd news.

sorry mel.
i didnt wan to listen to any phone calls.
pardon me.
maybe i aint fated to be in e same class as you.
but dun worry.
i wont go jump down building de.
i wil at e most eat non stop.

dun understand y.
cnt he jz wish me gd luck?
it's only two words rite?

one wish didnt come true.
neither did e oth one.
perhaps unlike wat stheng said.
dreams arent e opp of reality.
they cn be true.
and nw.
is obviously.
a nightmare coming true.

perhaps.
thinking on e positive side.
it's a blessing to be in e same class as my honey.
and pple like amirah lyn wee and lotsa more.
wats more i stil gt to study hcl with mel and e old 2c1-ers.

"i'm sorry to tell you tt you dun meet e criteria.so we cnt approve your appeal."
tt was wat she said.
true enough.
i am lousy.